15 October 2008

ACORN's 'Imaginary' Voters

Can you imagine if some conservative group had registered voters somewhere and a quarter of them turned out to be dead, Disney characters, or the Dallas Cowboys? We would not hear the end of it in the MSM and the rage (more than usual) among the nutroots would rock the very foundations of the internet, such as they are.

Meanwhile in the conservative blogosphere, we have the satirical responses of Iowhawk. Thank the powers that be for Iowahawk or I would not be able to keep my sanity, such as it is.
ST. LOUIS - Attorneys for the voting registration organizations ACORN and Project Vote filed an anti-discrimination voting rights suit in the U.S. Federal District court this morning, alleging the United States government is involved in "a widespread, systematic effort to disenfranchise Imaginary-Americans and deprive them of access to polls."

"Participation in our electoral process is a fundamental right, and the foundation of our democracy," said ASDF ASDFG, a spokesperson for the National Association for the Advancement of Imaginary People, one of the groups named as plaintiffs in the class action. "We will not be silent when government denies people access to the polls on the basis of color, or sex, or existential status."

The new suit was prompted by on a series of law enforcement raids of ACORN offices in 10 states over the past week, as well as a reported Justice Department investigation. Federal and state officials say they were acting on tips of fraudulent voter registration forms, after election officials reported a flood of unusual applications submitted by ACORN canvassers. In Las Vegas the Clarke County election commission reported thousands of registrations signed by the Dallas Cowboys, while in St. Louis officials discovered thousands of others signed by Power Rangers, Menudo, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In Cleveland, Ohio Republican officials complained to the Federal Election Commission after early-voting sites barred observers when thousands of Invisible-Ohioans arrived at the polls aboard hundreds of invisible ACORN buses. In Ida Grove, Iowa, Ida County Registrar Debby Ballard expressed concern when a convoy of Chicago ACORN semis submitted 4,000,000 provisional ballots, 17 seconds before a 5 pm deadline.

This is democracy: making sure everyone gets to vote (several times; in multiple locations; even if they're dead; even if they're felons; even if they're not legal residents; even if they're made up; so long as they are for Obama).

You know, this is the type of ballot-box stuffing that kept Saddam Hussein in power all those years (and keeps Hugo Chavez in power).

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