Seahawk Stuff

I'm working up my own pre-game analysis, full of quotes from Jerramy Stevens and (what's his name?) Porter. Till then, here are a few of the best things I've read relating to "the game."

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Hat-tip to Morgan from LA for this one. I've often wondered at professional athlete's complaints about a lack of respect. According to the ESPN poll my brother showed me this evening, everyone outside the Pacific Northwest (Washington, Oregon, Idaho) thinks the Steelers are going to win. This despite the fact that they are the AFC #6 seed and are playing the NFC #1 seed. You might guess that the Hawks to a man would be complaining about the lack of respect to every member of the press willing to listen to their rants. Not true. ESPN's Chuck Klosterman explains that this "respect complex" is endemic to the NFL. "As far as I can tell, there is not one player on either of these teams (or in the totality of the NFL) who has received the correct amount of respect." Though I think it's more of a pandemic afflicting all professional athletes, his analysis is entertaining.

Sometimes guys are underrated, and sometimes guys are overlooked -- but nobody has ever been respected accurately.

I keep hoping somebody like Antwaan Randle El will blow everybody's mind and say something along the lines of, "Well, we've had our ups and downs this season, but I sense that the rest of the league respects us an average amount. I feel comfortable with the level of our public esteem." Sadly, this never happens.

Earlier this week, someone told Jerome Bettis that certain Seattle players questioned whether he was truly 255 pounds. Bettis said, "They don't believe we are a good football team, either." Now, does Bettis truly perceive this as reality? I can't believe that he does. And I realize the conventional wisdom is that jocks use disrespect as motivation, but that can't be true, either; real people simply aren't stupid enough to trick themselves into insecurity every single week for five consecutive months.

I disagree, I think Jerry Porter really is that stupid.

More Klosterman
His bit on the NFL Experience and the 40 yard dash is great.

More alarmingly, I think a lot of these activities are fixed. They've built a little 40-yard FieldTurf runway (thanks again, Warren Moon!), and they let kids run the 40 and see what time they achieve. However, I think the clock is rigged, because everyone's time was way lower than logic would dictate. If Antwaan Randle El runs a 4.47, I highly doubt some chuberic 14-year-old wearing a "Family Guy" T-shirt is burning a 4.93.

Postmodern Superbowl
As a history major who intends to get an MA in American history, I have to include this last bit from Klosterman's post on Wednesday.

Everyone knows this is the first Super Bowl in the history of the Seahawks' franchise, and everyone knows Pittsburgh was the most dominant team of the 1970s. This being the case, it would seem as though history is on the Steelers' side. Which, of course, means absolutely nothing; it's not as if this game is going to be played by accredited historians (although that would be intriguing).

Fellow BYU students, could you imagine Dr. Mason, Dr. Murdock, Dr. Kimball or any other history professor playing in the game? And I'm beginning to think Klosterman must have studied history because in his Tuesday 6:06pm post he makes reference to post-modern philosopher/historian Jacques Derrida. Shouldn't ________ Porter feel bad that I know who Derrida is but I can't remember his first name?

Hawk Humor
You see, when the Seahawks give interviews, at least they try to be funny rather than ranting ad nauseum about respect, or rather, the lack thereof. For example, there's this piece from the Seattle Times about Steve Hutchinson aka best guard in the NFL. And no Marc, he didn't play for Dallas before he came to Seattle.

Still, the jokes keep coming at Hutchinson's expense.

"I know he went through this phase where he was slicking his hair back like he was some kind of movie star or sex symbol or something," fullback Mack Strong said. "That was pretty funny. He was putting that Vitalis in his hair to make it lay down."

Note that Vitalis is not the same as Cialis, though either way it's pretty funny.

Breakdown in Pass Protection
Then there's the special humor between a quarterback and his center.

Asked who had started the jousting of wits, Tobeck said, "He's got a big mouth. He called me a Hobbit in the newspaper."

It happened when Tobeck tweaked a knee during practice. As he was leaving the field that summer day, Hasselbeck went out of his way to tell a couple of reporters that he wasn't that concerned because, "Hobbits heal faster than humans."

"Just because I'm shorter than most lineman," Tobeck said Tuesday. "That's ridiculous."

No it's not. I have it on good authority from a Lord of the Rings expert that Hobbits do indeed heal faster than humans.

Does anyone care?
I love the Seahawks and on the chairlift at Alta Thursday morning with my brother I tried (and failed) to name every player on the fifty-three man roster, but this next example seems a little ridiculous.

Just to make sure there's no confusion about which team they are pulling for in Super Bowl XL, the mayor and city council in Washington, Pa., voted unanimously to change their city's name to Steeler, Pa., The Associated Press reported Friday.

The name change for the city of about 15,000 people south of Pittsburgh will last through Super Bowl Sunday.

"I know the folks in the state of Washington are rooting for the Seahawks, so we wanted to make sure everyone knows the city of Washington is fully in support of the Steelers," Mayor Kenneth J. Westcott told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

PS. I think I got to about forty, though after I finished with Jerhame Urban, Matt admitted that he wasn't counting like he'd promised.

Last but not least...
I know this post is getting over-long, but let me leave you with a couple parting links. First, a great article from David Locke on why the Hawks are great and will win on Sunday. Lastly there's this appropriately titled article from my favorite Seattle sports columnist, Steve Kelley.

"Thanks, you've been great."